Eating out with children

Last night for our third wedding anniversary, Charlie and I splurged and went to Chez Panisse for a none-Monday night dinner.

Luckily, we hit one of their themed nights and last night's meal featured duck. Yumm~! [I will post photos of the meal in the other blog space]

Anyway, since we ate at a leisurely pace (a little over 2 hours for the 4 course meal), I had to go to the ladies' room a few times. On one of my trips, a lady in line struck up a conversation with me asking about my due date, etc. When I told her that Noah's going to be our first, she said..."Oh, it's going to be a wonderful experience...." Seeing that we're at a nice restaurant, I seized the opportunity to ask for advice on eating out with children. To my delight, she replied that one can get back to eating at real restaurants (vs. family friend chain places) "as soon as possible."

"It's a self-fulfilling prophecy," she said. "If you expect your children to act up, then they will." According to her, what we need to do is give the child clear instructions for how to behave at the restaurant (i.e. "you are going to sit quietly and eat this...so forth) and then there won't be any problems.

Charlie and I realize that it won't be as easy as she made it sound but we have seen someone accomplish this. While eating at an upscale restaurant in New Orleans (we haven't checked to see if it survived Hurricane Katrina but hopefully it's still there!) we noticed that the family next to us were dining with their two young kids (maybe ages 4 - 7?). While the parents enjoyed a leisurely meal and adult conversation, the kids worked quietly on their coloring books. They were so well-behaved that they were hardly noticeable. Truly amazing!

My guess is that the trick is to feed them ahead of time (from what I hear, kids like familiarity so they probably preferred to eat what they're used to eating at home*) and prepare something for them to be preoccupied with while the adults eat. Of course, the meal can't be too long or else they get bored or tired.

Not knowing how Noah will turn out, it's hard to say if we'll be able t pull this off...and even if we do, we might not take him to Chez Panisse Cafe (where the lady and her family were dining) but still, it gives us hope that we can enjoy an occasional meal out. Here's to more anniversary dinners at Chez Panisse~!

*Charlie and I haven't discussed this regarding food but we're not planning to "treat' our children to nice meals or international travel until they are "ready" or old enough to pay their own way. Several families on our 2005 Europe tour traveled with their teenage children but it was clear that not all of them fully appreciated the experience. Maybe someday we will change our minds but right now, it seems such a waste of money to take kids on that kind of family vacation (at about 2 - 3K per head) when all they want to do is get to a computer so they can chat with their friends all day. Also, given the opportunity, many of the teenagers opted for American fast food *gasp* instead of tasting the local cuisine ...another waste.

Do something nice for your mommy (to-be) friends

We're still dealing with the aftermath of our move into the new home so I haven't had any time to blog (not that any one's reading anyway...) but I wanted to make a note about something that was recently on my mind. Maybe if there's time after all the unpacking, I will come back to write more in detail...

Many of my close friends aren't married or have children so my sources of information and advice have been mostly from my sister or our friend E. Each week, they check in with me to see how I'm feeling/doing and one thing that I've noticed that they do (well, two things actually) is that they always ask how "I" am feeling. I guess being Moms themselves (my sister has 3 kids and E has 2), they know how easily mommies get neglected when all the attention is on the children. So it seems that they take extra care to ask about me (of course, they also ask about the baby).

Another thing that they do, which is somewhat related to being mindful to my well-being, is expressing encouragements or compliments about my appearance. No matter how sensitive and loving our husbands are, sometimes it's nice to hear that we look "pretty" or "cute" from someone else, especially on days when we make more effort. I told E that Sunday is my only "make-up" day and she nodded in understanding...and assured me that I looked "good." Even if she was just being nice, I felt cheery hearing her comment.

So yeah, these are some of the gestures I want to be mindful to do for my pregnant friends in the future - remember to ask about their well-being (especially about things they used to enjoy prior to becoming pregnant) and to affirm their efforts to dress up and look nice. Worked for me!