Sharing the happy news

After confirming the pregnancy with a hospital blood test, we decided to start telling our families about the happy news.

The first person to tell was obviously April because she's my closest "friend" and sister. And besides, she's my one source for all things maternity - books, clothes, baby items. The sooner I tell her the sooner I get to pump her for all that info!

It took place on Thursday afternoon, during one of my routine visits to her classroom to help her do some class prep. All week, I had thought about how to casually open up the topic but after waiting for over 30 minutes for her parent-teacher conference to end, I loss patience and just blurted out, "So, I guess we're pregnant!" She knew that we had been trying and that I might have even bought a home pregnancy test last week so the news was not a big surprise to her. Still, she put on an expression of shock and screamed three times "ah! Ah! AH!" each time louder than the last. Then we hugged and she started talking about all the books and clothing she had for me.

I guess she had been waiting for me to enter this last life stage for a long time. Being only a year apart, growing up we shared almost every experience even though she had to wait for me to get married (she married at 22 and I married at 31). For a while, Charlie and I weren't sure that we want to have a baby so she must have been anxious about not being able to experience parenthood together. And now our kids will be cousins and play with each other!

The next person we told was our brother Kevin because he happened to be at our place for dinner the next night and I don't recall April telling him about her pregnancies first so I thought that he might appreciate knowing before our parents.

After feeding him and seeing him relax, I popped the question, "So, how do you feel about becoming an uncle again?" "To your kids?" He asked. "Yup, we're pregnant." Not knowing that we were even trying, Kevin was genuinely surprised but certainly happy for us. Normally, I don't think he'd want to think about Charlie and I being intimate (because we're not a PDA kind of couple) but he sat there unflinchingly through my explanation about how we had finally decided to let God reveal His plan to us and this was His quick response to our inquiry. Last winter, I had commented once to Kevin that seeing how great he is with April's kids, I wished that he would around too when we had children. And now since his plans are likely to keep him in the area for at least a year or two, he will be!

The last family members we told were our parents and grandparents. There was no particular reason to wait but the weekend's Chinese New Year family gatherings seemed like good opportunities to share the news.

First, my parents. All night, during the family dinner, April and her husband David kept making side comments that alluded to my pregnancy (i.e. about how much beer and sake they want to drink because they CAN) but my parents didn't get the hints. Finally, after dinner, I casually brought up the topic of my dad's retirement and asked if they've made a decision on the date. [Dad is eager to retire but mom seems reluctant for him to] I waited for the discussion to die down a bit before going over to dad, putting my arm around him, and saying, "But you have to retire as you planned [after Oct] because you promised that you'd be free to help me with our baby." Upon hearing this, a smile broke out on dad's face. Mom still didn't get it though. So I had to say more firmly, "Yes, we're pregnant, even though it's only been 6 weeks." All she did was *blink*, *blink*. After repeating the same statement, she finally asked, "How do you know?" To this, everyone broke out in laughter. I guess I can't blame her. Even as recent as last month, all she heard me talk about was how unsure we were about parenthood and the sacrifices we'd have to make; she didn't know that we had already made the decision to try and that all this talk was more for confirmation.

Later that night, we also called Taiwan to wish them a happy new year and I broke the news to grandpa (BAY-BE's great grandfather) and he was pretty cheery about the news. I asked if he recalls saying that the next time he'll come to visit us in the US is to see my children. He said that he'll think about it then tried to convince me to go back to visit him first, sometime during my second trimester. No matter, I am pretty sure he will want to come see us. I AM his favorite grandchild after all.

For Charlie's family, we had to deliver the news via skype (we ought to submit this story to the company for use in a commercial) because his parents are in Taiwan and his sister is away for the long weekend. After some New Year greetings and general catch-up, Charlie simply stated, "J and I are pregnant." His sister gave a loud "Yay!" and his parents said "this is the best new year's news we've received."

So there you have it, the news is out. Next, we tell our friends...and wait for the well-wishes (or "condolences") and advice to pour in. Joy~

*Chinese custom says that it's better to wait until after the first trimester, when the pregnancy stabilizes but we figured, the sooner we get prayed for, the better

A lot of time...

Been sick this week with the flu - second one in two months even though Charlie and I dutifully vaccinated for the winter.

Unlike the previous one, however, this one seems to be more severe and sudden (or maybe it just seems that way since each time, I'm always sure that the current sickness is the WORST) so for two nights, I'm awake every hour, catching only 30 minutes of sleep here and there.

Not wanting to get Charlie sick, when a sudden onset of fever or head congestion woke me up, I usually walk out of the bedroom and settle in with a blanket in either the study or the living room. Too tired to do much else but too uncomfortable to sleep, I sat there in silence and the dimly lite room for what seemed like an eternity even though in reality, it was more like 10 - 15 minutes.

So what did I do during that forced quiet time? I meditated and prayed. Perhaps meditated is too serious of a word for a process that wasn't quite so "focused." Mainly, I just closed my eyes, let my thoughts wander and...talked to God.

Ordinarily, my prayers are like presenting a progress report to the Boss; telling Him where things are going well and asking for more reinforcements where they aren't.

But when you are sick and alone, the prayers become more honest. I prayed for quick healing because it is painful and I worried about how the medications would affect BAY-BE. I prayed for D because he has to take care of me and BAY-BE and I could tell that his immune system is being worn down from fighting my germs. I prayed for all the future nights that we'd be awake taking care of BAY-BE especially when s/he is sick. I also prayed for my niece who also came down with a cold this week. If I'm so miserable as an adult, I can't believe how the little five-year old is coping. Then I just prayed for whatever and whoever came to mind.

Of course, even in the midst of suffering God continues to teach me things. After a few rounds of sleep and waking up, I began to take these moments in stride. I became less anxious to make myself feel comfortable again so I could go back to sleep.

Sometimes, I just sat there in silence with my eyes closed, resting, until sleepiness overtook me and I naturally relaxed and drifted off to slumber. And aside from the discomfort of the flu symptoms, I was surprisingly alert and not "irritated" (for lack of better description) during the frequent wakings so I am hopeful that when I have to do this for BAY-BE - waking up multiple times during the night to feed and take care of him/her - that I could do it with tenderness and care.

The most important thing I learned, which I remembered from April was that once BAY-BE gets here, I'll have a lot of time to pray. At the time I didn't know what she meant now I have a hint; these late night sessions with just me, BAY-BE, and God are great times for good intimate conversations.

I just hope that God will remind me of this when the time comes.

Taking the "test"

It was Friday of last week, 6 days after my period was supposed to have come. Charlie suggested that we wait to do this because I had been sick the previous month with the flu; we thought that the stress on my body might have pushed the menstrual cycle back a few days. And since I have been having minor cramps for a few days, it seemed even more plausible that my menstruation was about to start.

But I was really curious and wanted to know if I should be staying off vices like coffee, coke, and beer.

So I went to Walmart and bought a home pregnancy test that came with two kits. Having never had reasons to browse this section before it took a while to decide which to buy. A recommended buying one that had several kits because "you always want to be sure" but still, I didn't think we'd need three, especially since some of them now claim to be able to let you know even BEFORE your missed period. (However, if you use the test, after your missed period, the accuracy goes up to 99%.)

After a nice meal and some time to relax (well, only about 5 - 10 minutes), we broke open the package and I went into the bathroom to pee into a cup. (I made Charlie read the instructions and actually dip the stick in the "liquid" so that he could participate in the process.) Even though the instructions said to give it 3 minutes, the results seemed to show up instantaneously. "Pregnant" it said. (I bought one that had a "digital reading" because I didn't want to deal with interpreting "lines.") The simplicity of this process took us by so much surprise that we both remained silent for a few minutes.

But there it was, in black and white, "pregnant." So we hugged each other and congratulated ourselves on becoming "preggers" and then proceeded to take 10+ photos (using Charlie's nice 8 mega pixel digital SLR) of the stick with its reading "pregnant." We even contemplated bringing the test kit/stick to the family dinner next week as a way to announce our "news."

But God must have taken a pity on our poor family and decided that it would ruin their dinner to have to look at a stick that I had peed on; the writing disappeared the next morning when we woke up.

Oh well, at least we've got the 10+ photos to show for the moment. And if that's not good enough, we still have one more test left in the kit. I don't mind peeing into the cup again as long as the test results will be the same.

But yeah, only one month into the new year, we have indeed become "preggers."

I guess God really wanted us to be parents and didn't want to give us any chance to go back on our decision to be "open" to whatever His plan is for us.

So lesson here is, don't ask God to tell you something unless you're really prepared to listen and ... obey.